Colorful Quote 2

This Time I Dance!, Tama J. Kieves, pg. 28

Weekend Wonder 2

This weekend's Wonder pictures were taken in the Porter Square train station in Cambridge, MA. The top left and bottom left are permanent art installments above the station's looooooong escalators. Again, what amazing things there are to see if we just look up! The one on the right is a helpful graffiti reminder someone wrote on a temporary construction wall. Life does go on!

Feel Your Feelings

I’ve been really focused on feeling my feelings lately. I grew up in a family where strong feelings were subtly shunned. If you cried, you did it in private and if you happened to cry in front of someone else you said “I’m sorry!” over and over again until you stopped. It’s taken me a while, but I realize now how dangerous this has been for my mental, physical and spiritual health. Feelings are important and they are meant to be felt.

I bought a book recently (I’m always buying books!) called The Language of Emotions (Karla McLaren). I haven’t finished reading it yet, but it’s really making me think differently about feelings/emotions and how they are not inherently bad or good and each carry gifts of their own that you will miss out on if you don’t express them.

The most important takeaway I’ve gotten so far is that you can’t feel your feelings by reading a book; you have to put what you’ve read into practice. So I’ve been practicing this week. I want to get back to the connection to my emotions that I’m sure I had when I was a child. I want to just allow whatever I’m feeling to be ok to feel – no judgments, no censure.

And the funniest thing has been happening. When I felt my feelings, really let go and felt them and noticed how they made my body feel and what thoughts I was thinking to go along with them (with no self-censure or judgments), after a few minutes, the feelings got less intense and  then vanished. I was then left with a feeling of calm and clarity. If I had known that that would happen instead of the mental picture I carried of myself exploding from feeling anything too deeply I would have started embracing my feelings a long time ago!  

It’s amazing how many Americans have been taught to deny the full expression of their emotions. It’s amazing and sad. I now believe that you can’t censor one side of yourself without it affecting other elements of yourself from being expressed. It’s a lose-lose situation.  So, today I move forward noticing and practicing feeling my feelings. Like any new skill, practice makes perfect and I’m determined to get better at this day by day.

Colorful Quote 1

Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse, pg. 31

Weekend Wonder 1

Top Left: The things you see if you just look up! I saw this beautiful light fixture riding the escalator in a mall. Been going to this mall for years and I never noticed this gorgeousness until now.

Bottom Left: Club Monaco's front display made me literally stop and look. Those things hanging from strings behind the mannequins are white tea cups with their insides painted lovely yellows, greens and blues! How creative!

 

Right: I love little flower/plant patches and when I see these I'm reminded of the people who plant these one by one by one. What dedication for beauty!

Glee Check

"The First Snow, Kazan, Soviet Union, 1970" by Vladimir Zotov

Back in 2008, I had a personal trainer. During the winter season, she sent me a holiday card with the above photo on the front. I haven't been able to throw it away. You see the look on those kids faces? That's glee. I want that glee back in my everyday life. The type of glee where I can throw out my hands and tilt back my face and let the wonder of life just flow through me. Looking at this card reminds me of the glee that I had as a child and is a reminder to create more of those moments now.

I've been reading a book called One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way by Robert Maurer. If you've never heard of "kaizen" before, it's basically a Japanese word that symbolizes small steps towards continuous improvement. This book is really causing me to re-evaluate how I think about action. Before reading this book, I felt like goals required all or nothing effort which meant I almost always ended up with nothing (think New Year's Resolutions!). This kaizen way of thinking according to Dr. Maurer says that the smaller the step, the less likely you are to freak out and stop out of overwhelm and the more likely you are to reach your goal one baby step at a time. So in the spirit of kaizen, here are five very small steps that I can make now to help me experience more glee in my every day life.

1. Play one favorite song and dance full out the whole time the song plays
2. Hula hoop for one minute straight
3. Laugh for one minute a day (even if I have to force myself to get started)
4. Spend one minute closely observing a plant or flower or some other element of nature
5. Skip outside for 30 seconds

Those feel doable and I'm starting today. Anyone care to join me?